If I was giving advice, what would I say? Take it one step at a time. Move moment by moment until a day, two days, three have passed, and then a week, two weeks, three, and so on. Make conscious, thoughtful decisions during each present moment. Do not look back at poor decisions or successes that lack current reality. None of it matters; only now is significant. Sugar addiction does not recognize the past, nor care about your future. It only knows “the now,” and creates the constant craving that meets a need. It is a bottomless pit of doom. Climbing out is the only option.
I played with fire and lost. Toying with carbohydrates, testing my limits my body could not handle ultimately caused my decline. Perhaps I have a greater sensitivity towards sugar. Triggered emotionally, feeling emotions rather than numbing, at what point is the physical addiction greater than the emotional. Can I not handle even a little bit? What set me completely off? Was it purely simple sugar, or was it glucose level imbalance? If plated with protein, would the result have been different? For now, I am negotiating, wanting to believe I could find balance one day. Yet that day has not come. For now, to make any other choice than low carbohydrate, non-processed foods is irrational. I know what I know for now. Until a day when I know differently, I am a moment to moment creature, taking another day with a dollop of advice. Take the road to healing while in the present moment. Don’t look back, don’t look forward; keep your eyes on the healing prize of the present moment.