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Healing the Ghosts Within

I have had an urge lately to reconnect with friends from days past and resurface relationships gone awry. Maybe it is the changing seasons or the healing that I crave as I age. Regardless of the motivation, I find myself thinking of those who have affected me. Learning to right the wrongs of the past, I have discovered that much healing can be done internally, rather than involving others. Yet the curiosity of what has become of those who influenced my life has become overwhelming. It seems easier to reconnect, now that many of my insecurities have washed away. The Internet has simplified the path to reach out to my ghosts of days gone by. Social media, search engines, and old-fashioned detective work are all one needs. The healing is extraordinary and life changing as I uncover the patterns and baggage that have led me to today. How to meld healing with experiences from the past is the quandary.

There was a time when I imagined that coincidental meetings were a message from a higher power, a sign that I ought to delve into unresolved issues. Now I realize that it is my own subconscious at work, eliminating the hurt and pain that has gathered upon my heart. The work to release the past in order to reach freedom of wholeness is my goal. With the understanding that self-limiting beliefs intoxicate and paralyze my ability to lead my best life, I stumble, unable to release, cleanse, and feel the wholeness that inevitably opens a drawer of white light, the entrance to freedom. I desire unequivocal love that comes from such healing. My mind wants desperately to eradicate the linings of despair, the toxicity of preconditions, and the sadness that has refused to exit the center of my heart.

The melancholy at the core leaves a void, waiting for divine love to enter. By revisiting past relationships, will it jiggle the dormant issues? Do I need to feel the pain and find forgiveness, let bygones be simply that, and make the cognitive step forward? In the end, what do I really want from each of these encounters? I want forgiveness, love, and ultimate healing. It becomes abundantly clear that these individuals cannot give that to me, regardless of the simplicity of establishing face-to-face interactions. The curative aids lie elsewhere.

I recognize as I imagine visiting with my ghosts that they, the individuals that hurt, maimed, and scarred may not say or act as I wish. They may wonder why I have returned and not desire the same healing outcome as I. Instead, the dredging of old wounds may complicate the process. You cannot make others be who you want them to be nor say what you want them to say. Although I can control my own behavior, I may not be able to remove unresolved, subconscious reactions to others. Rather than conjure up old wounds and risk greater injury, my initial conclusion, healing from within, is possibly the most effective solution.

As Dorothy, in the Wizard of Oz, and several wise beings have taught, the answers lie within. They have always been there, awaiting discovery. If forgiveness and love are what I seek, where do I search? If all feeling and thought are energy and what I send out comes back, then I must transmit the desired outcome into the world. Therefore, if I seek forgiveness, perhaps I must offer forgiveness foremost. If I seek love, perhaps I must offer that up as well. Intuitively I recognize the need for self-love and forgiveness of the self as the pain etched deep in my heart. Emotions that have remained captive in the past, I must release their dormancy and let go. Let freedom replace that space, as my heart fills with light, joy, forgiveness, and love.

Healing the ghosts of time passed does not require complication. Its simplicity lies within one’s heart and the resources to heal have always been accessible. For me it is about forgiveness and self-love. Other’s soul searching may require other avenues to travel. However, not always pain-free, the answers and recovery are simpler than we initially consider. Allow yourself to pave a new direction. With wholeness in your heart, light is sure to follow. Healing the ghosts of time passed lurks within. Pay them a visit!

Published inEssaysHealing the Ghosts Within
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