Holding one’s breath is not recommended for healthy living. Furthermore, without exhalation death is certain. Yet most days fear has me walking through minefields, ensuring I not step and self-destruct via a processed morsel passing between my lips. Roadside bombs continue to plague the world surrounding me, represented by supermarket shelves, restaurants, and holiday happenings, ready to trip me up, catch me off guard, or sneak their way into my system. Always on alert is an exhausting, fearful, and tense way to live. In effect,the body falters, flipping switches to a fight/flight response, and malfunctions by slowing the metabolism, digesting food inefficiently, preventing weight loss and utilizing energy poorly.
Living life in fear leads to failure since its sustainability leads to recklessness eventually. Even yesterday as I sat imagining the possibility of success, fear overcame me, and found me reaching for anything that was consumable. Fortunately this time, it was an acceptable food item, but my hands, mouth, and teeth would have accepted anything. It felt as if I needed to munch, numb, and alleviate the distress, discomfort, and dis-ease with something, anything, everything. Within a half hour, an old familiar feeling of unnecessary fullness overwhelmed me; fear triumphed.
My future response must answer the call of emotional distress in an alternate way. Energy to arm myself against fear, numbing, and consumption I must produce. Prepared optimal foods, utilized during a bumpy life track is necessary. Life’s unsmooth avenue and rocky terrain need a rational response necessitating boosts of energy, intention, and attention.
I must breathe through this journey, pause to reflect why I am taking flight for the final time, and decide how I shall maintain my presence at the pot of gold upon landing. This is my time to heal a pattern of pain that perpetuated much hurt throughout my life. Failure to exhale is not an option. My greatest appreciation must be the breath I breathe, the life force within, the open-hearted living centered by self-love that inhabits me rather than fear. Here I shall stake my claim and live at the end of my rainbow. There inhalation and exhalation enable me a freedom I always recognized, but never fully reached. It is within view; it is beautiful; and I am grateful for the journey.