Last week, a shaming, destructive, and painful memory from my past flew into view, with an immediate surprise; it triggered nothing. I felt nothing, no judgment, no opinion, no emotion wrapped around the memory; peace suddenly arose and surrounded the thought normally met with anger, resentment, and sadness. Instead of grabbing the nearest Oreo®, I sat peacefully, aware of transition, healing, and a nothingness I did not know was possible. This newly occupied space of my past hurt, regret, and pain simply nullified into an occupancy of letting go. I referred to this transformation as a “knowing” that someday I would sense, yet uncertain of the form it would take into awareness.
Change, healing, and mending of the heart happens sometimes silently. Does transformation require consciousness to process healing into being? My current experience concludes healing hovers, infiltrates, and assembles silently, invisibly, and undetected, until thoughts, emotions, and actions accustomed to pulling a lever no longer trigger an explosion of pain, worry, or divisiveness. When what would be normally reactive reverses, a “letting go” occupies the novel space. Peace, self-respect, and self-love replace the self-loathing, outward hatred, and hoarded anger in storage. Great supply of resentment releases and the heart softens.
Loving myself and others simultaneously, I let go. Lacking judgment, resentment, and anger, I let go. Without control, without tightening, and without fear, I let go. Insight, consciousness, and introspection occupying the mind, I let go. Transformation in silence, simply being, and undisturbed, I let go. Releasing the weight, the emotional baggage, and the past, I let go. Cleansing the closet, the old, and the ancient, I let go. Losing shame, yet acquiring resilience, I let go. Allowing, opening, and soothing the heart, I let go. Through peace, healing, and stillness, I let go. The “knowing” is living open heartedly, feeling a sense of belonging, self-worth, and peace.
A healing and wholehearted existence, means living authentically, knowing that what others think of me no longer matters; cultivating self‐compassion, releasing perfection, and engaging in vulnerability to connect with others; eliminating numbing of emotions and feeling of powerlessness; cultivating gratitude, joy, and peace plus intuition, faith, and uncertainty; and letting go of self‐doubt replaced by self-love, respect, and acceptance. By simply being this way, the nothingness suddenly existed, stillness presided, and I let go. Broken pieces of myself curiously mended. the void filled, and a foundation formed to let go. Time, process, and digging healed deep wounds, but “letting go” set me free.