Careful what you wish, the result may differ than expected. My spouse choosing to follow my healthy lifestyle feels miraculous. For better or worse, his arrival on this journey carries mixed emotions.
Thought not quite the same, a second child also brought assorted feelings. Would I love baby number two, when my love for number one felt insurmountable? Was I physically and mentally strong enough to care for two children when one seemed plenty? Why change anything when all felt perfect? Upon his birth, love doubled from one sibling to the other, and exponentially love grew within my heart where I believed space was limited. Unaware my capacity to love was limitless renders the thought irrational now. Perhaps the parallel of irrational thought coincides with this entrance of my spouse into my lifestyle.
My spouse showing interest to join my fitness community, program, and lifestyle, questions churned within me. While grappling on how to make the journey sustainable and successful for myself, could I accommodate his needs? Would I have to be responsible for his food preparation, exercise schedule, and potential failure and/or success? The kettle bell of questions weighed heavily, swinging for answers.
For the majority of our lives together, I encouraged, role-modeled, nagged, and swore at the man I love to get his act in gear for the sake of himself, his family, his friends, and his business. I abandoned the effort after fifteen years not from lack of caring. Choosing a healthy lifestyle, making oneself a priority, and practicing self-care requires action from the person, himself. Without him wanting to change, my efforts were useless.
When his sneakers made an appearance in the past, healthy food began disappearing from the fridge, and an out-stretched man exercising in the early morning, brought my hopes higher, until those sights vanished again. Although raising one’s expectations and hope for change resulted in defeat, I continued to believe his desire for lasting change would eventually appear.
As a “better or worse” life partner, his unhealthy lifestyle now has an opportunity to vanish. Anticipating “better” existed, I trust my husband now wants the best for himself, his readiness arrived, and long before ‘too late’ reached him. Suddenly choosing to self-prioritize his health needs, my hope percolates again. Excitement for his potential ensues, yet questions escalate.
Six months prior, I began following a healthy lifestyle within a supportive community and experienced tremendous change, inner healing, and accomplished what I deemed impossible the prior thirty-five years with failed attempts. My weight loss, exercise journey was coming to fruition, and its sustainability I contemplated, studied, and believed possible. With my spouse in the mix, how might this change, affect my ability to focus, energize, and realize my dreams? Was his presence a hindrance or helpful?
An old friend said, “The ability to succeed is the ability to adjust.” Therefore, I prepped food for both of us initially and adjusted the increased amounts. By discussing his need to prepare food, to exercise, and follow the lifestyle changes, he began to cook, prepare, talk about the journey, and become responsible for his self-care. A drastic change to his lifestyle and ours as a family had begun.
Boot camps classes inspire rather than defeat him, while healthy food energizes and fuels him. The better of our ‘for better or worse’ journey has commenced. Sharing the journey brings us closer in a way I believed vanished. Enduring the worst with an unhealthy lifestyle dissipates into the past, while the better continues to enhance our relationship as individuals. Within our ‘for better or worse,’ we are off to a burpee start for the better!
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